Thursday, November 4, 2010

"see friendship"

My title may resemble something so silly Facebook has done, speaking of which, what gives? See wall-to-wall was crazy enough, now we must see friendship? I swear Facebook may be trying to kick us grown folk out of there, either that or they are seriously trying to breed some serious stalkers. Either way you look at it, its dumb. The only friendship I'm trying to see is real friendship, which brings me to......

I remember growing up with a sweet poem about friendships, something about "there are many types of ships. yellow ships, blue ships, red ships, but the best and most important ships are friendships" *warning- I may have tempered slightly with that poem, it may have been something about the only ships that don't sink are friendships but my point still remains the same* a statement that should be so true in reality is not.

They say that friends next to family are people that remain in your life forever, and only boys/girls come and go... how wrong are we, everyone comes and goes, people always leave (except family, they are stuck with you, shame.)

How many of us sat next to someone in preschool and thought "this is my friend forever", look around you where are they now? those of you who still have them, kudos to you, but most of us have almost little to no memories of preschool except those embarrassing ones told to us by our parents. Friends are the family we choose, but most of us make mistakes of expecting too much, not expecting anything at all and not treating friendships as they should be.

Life is a balance, up down, good bad, right wrong, happy sad, and it is unrealistic to think that people should be perfect all the time. We all have our faults and just because they are different from someone else does not make you any better. sounds like common sense? well it should be, but apparently is not. I would think as you grow older the more sound, long lasting friendships people make, but what I see around me is the opposite, I see many friendships dying over petty issues. Ever heard the saying money does not grow on trees, well neither do friendships. Expecting things from people is natural to us human beings, its like the "on" button is activated once we become close to someone, we would not expect anything from the stranger next door but we would expect the world from our best friend, and I guess that's because we THINK we can give them the world but show me someone who has the world and I will stop writing now............. thought so.

Sometimes peoples expectations come in a box labeled impossible, and honestly they are asking for disappointment. Most people with high expectations always land up disappointed. Then they say, "I'm going to stop expecting things from people because they always disappoint me" ........ well that probably gets them as far as their next disappointment because lets face it, 1) that "on" button is already activated and 2) that's dumb. All it is, is be normal, take into consideration that you too are human and make mistakes. Take me down from that pedestal, remove that halo from my head, because I would rather stand side by side than sit at the top and disappoint you without even knowing.

There are also those people that claim to be your friend and the second your back is turned a knife is jammed right through it, well.... we are not talking about those people because they are not friends. We may not be born with a bull-shit-O-meter (although some seem to have purchase them somewhere) but I think sometimes you can tell when someone is about to pull a fast one on you, they talk about their own friends to you, they have flip flop personalities and if someone like that stabs you in the back, I'm sorry but why was your back turned?

It may sound like a cliche but people honestly have to take the bad with the good, we all have issues, its called life. Those who don't have issues are clones. We cannot be all things to all people, but we can definitely be a friend. Do not just drop friends because he/she does not agree with you, says things you may not agree with, or does things differently from you. As long as this person is not being nasty or harming you in any way then let them be, its called individuality for a reason.

The way people drop friends like bad habits is kinda scary, there are many people in the world that we can easily make new friends with and that's nice but to me its not really how many friends we have had that matters, its how many long term friendships you have maintained. Yes, way may not be friends with the person we played hide and seek with in preschool but we have real friendships now, real friendships that we could work on. I read somewhere that friends are not entitlements, they are gifts from God. With that said, I'm not trying to throw away my gifts, they are mine!

Its really true when they say be the change you want to see in the world, and be the person you want to have in your life, being around when times are good is easy but being around when times are tough is amazing. The same way good times may fade, the bad times go just as quickly, nothing last forever except obviously friendships, if you let them.
"Its far better to have had a dozen true friends than thousands of relationships that came and went"

hello friend



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