"We can count on so few people to walk that hard way with us"

"We can count on so few people to walk that hard way with us" 

Here

Hard, particularly lifes hard, is relative. Your hard, my hard, their hard, is not the same, but whatever the case is, it is often that the quote above is very true.

I have been spending a lot of my time lately, call it reflection or the pause before the big jump, thinking about the people in my life that I have come a long way with, and while the list may not be as long as forever, there are a handful of people I can point to and that I know I will always be able to point to. But this hasn't always been the case. We always come across people, some we may even dare to call best friends, that come in to our life and make us feel or think we have found the real meaning of lifelong, but then something happens, big, small or nothing at all that makes you realise "we can count on so few people to walk that hard way with us"
.... and this has happened to me time and time again, I've pretty much ditched the term best friend, even though Lord knows I have some of the best, and I learnt a valuable lesson in reason, season or a lifetime.

Maybe it is something to do with growing up, in fact scratch that, it has everything to do with growing up. The more you do it, the fewer friends you do it with. Your priorities change, and what you start to look for in friendships have changed along with them. So when I reflect on the almost friendships and the lost ones too, I realise why they may not be such a bad thing.

I only want a few people to walk the hard way with me, and there are only a few people that I want to walk the hard way with. While I may not believe in 'no new friends' I believe that when you find the friends that encourage you, support you, believe in you, make you a better person, and generally make lifes hards easier then keep that circle tight.

We sometimes fool ourselves in thinking that we need so many people around us to not feel lonely, but there is a power in only having a few friends. A power in not having to count on so many people, because really if we are being honest, people often cannot be counted on to be counted on.

Lu3Lu
Xx

It Is Important with Whom You Regularly Associate

I might just be the only one who hasn't proclaimed {at least out loud} that 2013 is their year. I'm just not too sure about putting so much pressure on a year with the off chance that it might all fall to s**t. I'm happy to welcome 2013 as my year, when it becomes my year, but till then I am happy just working at making it so.

BUT

My 2013 will be one of immense growth, and this I am pretty happy to state out loud. I've spent the past couple of years doing the same things, particularly surrounding myself with the the kind of people that are just not good for any kind of mental, emotional or spiritual growth, because either 1) they are so self involved that they don't even realise that this world hosts other human beings, 2) they have no idea what the word progression means 3) they use, abuse and misuse people for their own benefit, or 4) they have more faces than the Lord intended, basically, small people.

I mean it is no secret that we are not getting any younger, and it makes no sense to just grow in age and not have anything mentally to back that up. A lot of us are now at the age we are trying to grow ourselves, become career women, family women and maybe this is the needy child in me speaking but it is at this time you need to surround yourself with people that make a difference. We need people that are going to support us, rejoice in our achievements, encourage us when we have low spirits and be rocks when all we see around us is shaky ground. This is what we need, but we are also at that age where we should not be afraid to walk alone and we should not be afraid to like it. It's been a reality to many and a reality I am starting to notice for myself, which is why I love this particular quote by Mark Twain that states

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans into fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like minded and who are also designing purpose filled lives. Similarly be that kind of friend to your friends."

This is my 2013 in a nutshell. I am going to grow in this, because there I believe at this point in my life there is nothing truer. I am thankful for the friends who are all this and more to me. Here is to a great 2013!

Lu3Lu
Xx

Blogger challenge: Day 9

Day 9: A Favourite Picture of Your Best Friend

I have a handful of friends, I love them all and I am glad they are in my life.
But very few are special friends, each of them the best in their own special way. (",)
 I am so thankful for them because they make me believe in real friendship. I have made friends and lost them all in the blink of an eye, and those that were once important to me arent as much anymore. Things happen, it is life. I am so okay with that now more than ever. I am happy with the people that are in my life, and will be in excellent shape if any decide to leave.
But my special friends, these guys have always been there, through weather change, long silences, distance, and misunderstandigs.
They always stay.

Let me introduce you to them shall I?



Jane! She is my sunshine and my only sunshine. She makes me happy when skies are grey! LOL



Nasreen Hassanali! My bear! Miss her! :( amazing human being!



Velma! Where would I be without her! She makes my life!





Nadia! This tiny person is awesome. Been friends for ages!



PJ! Only known him for a short time, but boy has my life changed since! :)



But really at the end of it all, my best friend is truly the one I share most of my life with, the love of my life and funniest guy I know



The Mr! Couldn't find a solo picture of him. He is camera shy. Apparently.

Lu3Lu
xx

Something Given, Not Borrowed.

Two days I watched the movie Something Borrowed, which I had been dying to watch for some time. 

It was nothing like I expected. That's both a good and bad thing.

Good, because I enjoyed it.

Bad, because I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. 

Tell me if this is just me...... 

But there really is a girl and guy code that exists right? 

Well there you go..... and this movie went against all things code in my opinion. 

I honestly believe in code, and if not code, then friendship. 

I believe if a friend likes, dated, or is dating someone then they are automatically off limits. 

This shouldn't even be a rule. This is just standard. 

Guys have codes and they stick by them so well..... uhm well, much better than we ladies do. 

I say......

If your friend knows that you secretly like someone, they have no right to out you in front of said someone, and then if after outing you have the right mind to deny it {still in front of said someone}, and your friend takes that chance to ask said someone out. 

AGAINST CODE.

Who does this? I don't care whether I denied it or not, my best friend should know if I have feelings for the guy right? 

I mean I am only denying it because you are taking the secret out of secret crush. You should know better a s a best friend. 

Any way, this happens and there is pretty much nothing you can do about it. You try act cool, because you don't want to blow the cover you so nicely laid out for yourself. But if said someone (who clearly likes you too) asks you if this is actually okay with you, and looks at you like 'but I like you' and you go on to act all nonchalant and 'you guys make a great couple' then 

THIS IS YOUR FAULT

you had a clear opening to stop what could possibly hurt you, and own up to how you really feel. 

I understand that you can't go from, 'we are just friends' to 'no this is not okay' in five seconds. 

Hello Schizo. 

But, you could just pull your friend aside and tell her stop it, and then have 'the talk 'with said someone the next day.

I also say......

Something that's given should not be taken away. You gave said someone away, and you should go into a corner and sit and think about the decision you just made. But that's it. It's done. 

You can not wait until your best friend, {who by the way you still kept as one} decides to get married to ruin everything for her. 

AGAINST CODE. 

I don't care if you like, or are attracted to someone, but if that person is your best friends fiance then keep it all locked up. 

You will not go and have a one night stand with said person.

If anything ever meant anything to you in the beginning, you sort it out BEFORE they decide to get rings involved.

Any way that happens, and then you decide to continuously see said person behind your best friends back, while she plans the wedding and tells you how much she loves you everyday? 

Who does that? 

Please don't tell me someone in love. 

If both those people mean something to you, the least you can do is tell your best friend upfront that you have feelings for said person, and have for a long time. 

Deal with it that way. things are already messed up, and there are bound to be tears but at least we are being honest. 

Don't try make it a secret. Look how well that turned out for you in the beginning.  

I just say.....

what starts badly, ends badly. 

And I don't know if it's just me but friendship is truly a rare gift.. I would want to keep that above all else. 

and I honestly believe if people are meant to be they will be. But it should never be at the expense of someone else.

What are your thoughts? 

Lu3Lu

xx

Daily Inspiration: Friends.

Don't I know this story so well.

I recently made up with one of my friends, and I can't explain the feeling.
You know all those quotes they have about friendships, them being the family you choose, coloring your life, making a bad day go good, never apart, always in the heart?

It's all true.

And for me to have lost that was like loosing all that goodness.
Sure I have plenty other friends, but no friend is ever the same. And it really is sad to reach that point where someone so close to you suddenly becomes just another person.

We can't explain it and we can't change it, sometimes you do just have to accept the situation for what it is, nothing stays the same and expecting people to be in your life from day one (would be nice) but is not realistic. You live, you love and you learn.

I am glad my situation didn't turn out that way though, and we managed to find a way to turn it all round, but this is not always the case, and sometimes it's the best thing for us ---> sad in the moment but happier in the long run right? who knows. We just live and hope for the best.

I guess it kind of just teaches you to be the best you can be in the moment, enjoy it to the fullest and when it ends, if it ends, you are satisfied with the part that you played, because given another chance you would do that EXACTLY the same.











Lu3Lu
xx

"see friendship"

My title may resemble something so silly Facebook has done, speaking of which, what gives? See wall-to-wall was crazy enough, now we must see friendship? I swear Facebook may be trying to kick us grown folk out of there, either that or they are seriously trying to breed some serious stalkers. Either way you look at it, its dumb. The only friendship I'm trying to see is real friendship, which brings me to......

I remember growing up with a sweet poem about friendships, something about "there are many types of ships. yellow ships, blue ships, red ships, but the best and most important ships are friendships" *warning- I may have tempered slightly with that poem, it may have been something about the only ships that don't sink are friendships but my point still remains the same* a statement that should be so true in reality is not.

They say that friends next to family are people that remain in your life forever, and only boys/girls come and go... how wrong are we, everyone comes and goes, people always leave (except family, they are stuck with you, shame.)

How many of us sat next to someone in preschool and thought "this is my friend forever", look around you where are they now? those of you who still have them, kudos to you, but most of us have almost little to no memories of preschool except those embarrassing ones told to us by our parents. Friends are the family we choose, but most of us make mistakes of expecting too much, not expecting anything at all and not treating friendships as they should be.

Life is a balance, up down, good bad, right wrong, happy sad, and it is unrealistic to think that people should be perfect all the time. We all have our faults and just because they are different from someone else does not make you any better. sounds like common sense? well it should be, but apparently is not. I would think as you grow older the more sound, long lasting friendships people make, but what I see around me is the opposite, I see many friendships dying over petty issues. Ever heard the saying money does not grow on trees, well neither do friendships. Expecting things from people is natural to us human beings, its like the "on" button is activated once we become close to someone, we would not expect anything from the stranger next door but we would expect the world from our best friend, and I guess that's because we THINK we can give them the world but show me someone who has the world and I will stop writing now............. thought so.

Sometimes peoples expectations come in a box labeled impossible, and honestly they are asking for disappointment. Most people with high expectations always land up disappointed. Then they say, "I'm going to stop expecting things from people because they always disappoint me" ........ well that probably gets them as far as their next disappointment because lets face it, 1) that "on" button is already activated and 2) that's dumb. All it is, is be normal, take into consideration that you too are human and make mistakes. Take me down from that pedestal, remove that halo from my head, because I would rather stand side by side than sit at the top and disappoint you without even knowing.

There are also those people that claim to be your friend and the second your back is turned a knife is jammed right through it, well.... we are not talking about those people because they are not friends. We may not be born with a bull-shit-O-meter (although some seem to have purchase them somewhere) but I think sometimes you can tell when someone is about to pull a fast one on you, they talk about their own friends to you, they have flip flop personalities and if someone like that stabs you in the back, I'm sorry but why was your back turned?

It may sound like a cliche but people honestly have to take the bad with the good, we all have issues, its called life. Those who don't have issues are clones. We cannot be all things to all people, but we can definitely be a friend. Do not just drop friends because he/she does not agree with you, says things you may not agree with, or does things differently from you. As long as this person is not being nasty or harming you in any way then let them be, its called individuality for a reason.

The way people drop friends like bad habits is kinda scary, there are many people in the world that we can easily make new friends with and that's nice but to me its not really how many friends we have had that matters, its how many long term friendships you have maintained. Yes, way may not be friends with the person we played hide and seek with in preschool but we have real friendships now, real friendships that we could work on. I read somewhere that friends are not entitlements, they are gifts from God. With that said, I'm not trying to throw away my gifts, they are mine!

Its really true when they say be the change you want to see in the world, and be the person you want to have in your life, being around when times are good is easy but being around when times are tough is amazing. The same way good times may fade, the bad times go just as quickly, nothing last forever except obviously friendships, if you let them.
"Its far better to have had a dozen true friends than thousands of relationships that came and went"

hello friend

Lu3Lu

xx