Thursday, February 17, 2011

"love love love love love love", say it many times you will start to believe it.

With valentines day way past the corner, (I know this blog post is a little late, it being the 17th of February and all, but with the flowers and chocolates still in my room forgive me for still feeling valentinesy) I just got to thinking.

So many of us have warped ideas of this day, to some its hell all around for many people, whether they are single attached or somewhere in between. To others its practically the day they were born for, they can't wait to spoil and be spoiled.

I had a discussion about this with a friend of mine on twitter, I had said "valentines day is just another day like the 19th of January" and boy was he was not impressed, he said that it grinds his gears when people say things like that, and went on to say that these people don't really have a romantic bone in their body because as far as he was concerned it's just one day, not the only day, that people can celebrate love, and if you are in any way romantic you would be happy about the day and not try colour it black.
And this is somewhat true, this year I noticed a lot of people on Facebook and Twitter saying how much they hate valentines day. I noticed a lot of this Valentines day and this "happy love suxx day" and I laughed my ass off.

I tell you why, it's not only because I had what is the best valentines of my life, but because as I said before people have such warped ideas of the day.

I remember long ago, like say, back in preschool, when the mere thought of the opposite sex was eeuuww! I remember if you had to sit next to or hold one of their hands in some line, that was it, day ruined.
It was back then that love certainly wasn't on our mind. If anyone asked or spoke about valentines day, we were like 'valentines who? just tell me where the sweets are!'
Back then we were not worried about not having anyone, or freaking out because you wanted to buy and get the best gift ever, or stressed because its already half the day and no one has sent you flowers and a mystery card, or even sad because everyone but you has a date at the best restaurant in town. We were just happy.

Now, many years later, we restrict ourselves from the joys of the day. Who said that this day should be restricted just to romantic love? As far as I'm concerned its a day of love. period. That includes your mother, brother, sister, friend, anybody that you hold close to your heart.
My boyfriend told me that on valentines day he didn't always buy girls roses and things, instead he would buy roses for his grandmother. every. valentines. day. That's what its about, showing those you love, you love them.

So while people are buying flowers and gifts for their significant others, and you find yourself alone on that day, consider the people in you life that you love and love you back.

Random acts of kindness go a long way to making what people have been calling 'love sucks day' 'love rocks day'

Hope you guys had a lovely valentines.


Sunday, February 6, 2011

Somebody almost walked away with all of my stuff

I've watched the movie 'For Coloured Girls' about six times already, that's how much I love it. I could watch it again and again and not run out of emotions to use. I've always said, this is one movie where ALL your emotions are at risk. You get hurt, angry, upset, confused, judgemental, happy, relieved and some more. So if you're really looking to take your emotions to the gym, watch the movie.

With all the lessons that it teaches, there is one sentence that keeps playing in my mind:

"somebody almost walked away with all of my stuff."

At first I had no idea what stuff this woman was referring to, all I know is, she was far from impressed and I remember sitting there thinking wow, this woman really likes her things.
Then it hit me, her 'things' were not physical or materialistic, her 'things' were her memories, dignity, hopes, dreams, happiness, and her love, and this man was walking away with them.

No wonder she was pissed.

A lot of us have been there. Where someone almost walked away with all our stuff. Where we gave everything we had and didn't have, and people just waved their hands, said adios, and walked away with our stuff.
As people we give much of ourselves to the person we are with, and nine times out of ten they are not worthy of such a gift. They seem content in receiving all we have to offer until they decide they don't want it anymore. And where does that leave us?
Well, if you were thinking, duped, cheated, and all alone then exactly to that.

This has happened to me, and left me with a condition called 'brick wall' (its real, look it up.) Details unnecessary, but I can say that it was not a good look. Being left feeling duped, cheated and all alone doesn't breed any room for positivity, all you are is now a negative person, that doesn't trust anyone, that's sceptical about everything and that feels like there is no one out there for them. Thankfully I crawled out of there fast (not fast enough) but fast nevertheless. *smiles just thinking about it*

People tend to build brick walls around themselves and their hearts once they've been hurt. They become afraid to let anyone in and most importantly afraid to give away an once of their stuff. Who can blame them? Being in a relationship, is sharing love, time, space and a whole lot more of yourself, if one person is not doing the same there is bound to be someone walking away with stuff that does not belong to them.

You can give and give but you cannot give up all of your stuff. That's not to say you should always hold yourself back from the experience of love, personally I am happy to pamper, spoil, nurture, adore and support the one I love but they have to be worthy of receiving that. I'm not just going to give my stuff all willy nilly. Sorry wrong number I won't.
Giving until it hurts in a relationship is a red flag.
You can't share yourself with someone to the point where when you are faced with them leaving, you find yourself with a lot less than you did when you started the relationship.

Be wise about who you give your stuff to and how and when you distribute it.

As the poem said.. You "needs" your things, you need your heart to love again, you need your mind to understand and you need your entire self to be strong enough to walk away and start again.


Friday, February 4, 2011

House of Nwocha

I love the internet.
If not for the vast number of things you can do on there, also for the fact (which I think is so cool) how one link can take you to another link which will lead you to another link and then another and another AND another (you get the point). So while I was doing my sexy link to link dance I came across this Nigerian designer who owns the fashion label 'House of Nwocha'. One word: WOW!

What I'm wondering is why it took me googling random words to notice this brilliant stuff. Which rock have I been hiding under?

Fashion in Africa is being taken to a whole new level, and I will be dammed if I miss this train, bus, flight, ship, donkey cart or whatever. I'm riding with this one. Someone once said to me "support the great things that can come from the place you represent the most", that person was right.
As much as I love Valentino, Gucci, Prada, Baby Phat, Chanel,
And all those other to die for labels, its important for me to appreciate FIRST what is bred at home. Now, I'm not Nigerian, but I am African and we are one home so to speak, so to all those beautiful labels out there, I add to my list 'House of Nwocha'.

This collection is called 'Zion', and in the words of designer Ugonna Omeruo herself it is 'a zionic paradise with a combination of edgy and sexy'. The spring\summer collection was "inspired by an Asian samurai painting" and reveals an arrangement of long classic dresses, edgy short pieces and chic style suits all for a younger and flirtier look.

Images from

I'm loving the mix of fuchsia, royal blue, black, green and orange.

The thing is, (and I have to be really honest here) when it came to African attire I had nothing against it but at the same time would never wear it. Let me explain, you know how something will look totally gorgeous on a mannequin or the person next to you but once you try it on not so much? Well yes, that's the theory I had with African wear. It looks nice yes, but on my mum and people her age. That's what I love about 'House of Nwocha' I feel like I could rock these clothes like I rock my face. I'm loving the youngness and difference it brings.

Ten gold stars to Ugonna Omeruo. Now, to find her address, phone number and stalk her.