Thursday, December 16, 2010

L.O.V.E <~~ what is this?

"L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore
Cuz love is all that I can give to you, love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it, take my heart and please don't break it, love was made for me and you!"

I had 2 open this post with the lyrics of Nat King Coles famous song "L.O.V.E" because I recently watched The Parent Trap for like the gazillionth time this past week..... (Yes, I love it that much. Don't judge me.). And like every other romantic movie out there, (refer to previous blog post) it teaches us that love can conquer all... Or at least it should be able to.

I'm a sucker for love, break my heart a thousand times (touch wood) and I'm sure I will still believe in "the one".. But even so, love confuses me, its not so black and white like many movies, books and songs make it appear to be. I had a status on facebook the other day about what would mean more: if someone says "I love you" or if they say "love you" and someone said to me, either way love is a term that's now loosely used.

So what is love? This is one of the most difficult questions asked, right there with questions about quantum physics and the stock exchange. No one can give a proper definition, to some love is friendship that's been set on fire, to others love is like luck that you may just stumble upon, to a few love is the feeling you hope someone gets when you feed them a mixture of perfume, water and tea leaves. Either way, we all have our different definitions, and when I asked my 5 year old sister what hers is, she looked at me innocently and said "its when you get together with someone and kiss"

Its funny how most of us are confused about love yet it seems so easy to children. It did not take a lot of thought from my little sister before she said that, she just said it. So I thought it would be fun to see what other children thought about love, and then maybe, just maybe I would FINALLY know what I'm dealing with.
Here is what I found:

On what falling in love is like:-
'Its like an avalanche where you have to run for your life' (Roger 9)

'If falling in love is like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long' (Leo 7)

Why love happens between two particular people:-
'I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful' (Harlen 8)

How people in love typically behave:-
'Mooshy... Like puppy dogs... Except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much' (Arnold 10)

'When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour' (Wendy 8)

'All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark (Sherm 8)

What is the proper age to get married:-
"Eighty four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore and you can spend your time loving each other in your bedroom' (Judy 8)

'Once I'm done with kindagarten, I'm going to find me a wife' (Tom 5)

What do most people do on a date:-
'On the first date they tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested to go on a second date' (Mike 10)

When is it okay to kiss someone:-
"You should never kiss a girl, unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she will want to have videos of the wedding' (Jim, 10)

Is it better to be single or married:-
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid I don't need that kind of trouble" (Kenny 7)

Good looks in love:-
'It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anyone to marry me yet' (Gary, 7)

Confidential opinions about love:-
'I'm in favour of love, as long as it does not happen when The Simpsons is on television' (Anita 6)

'Love will find you, even if you hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me' (Bobby 8)

Personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:-
'One of you must know how to write a check because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills' (Aya 8)

Ways to make a person fall in love with you:-
'One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure its something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me' (Bart 9)

What are most people thinking when they say I love you:-
'The person is thinking yeah I do really love him, but I hope he at least showers once a day' (Michelle 9)

How to make love endure:-
'Don't forget your wifes name.... That will mess up the love' (Dick 7)

'Don't say you love someone and then change your mind, love isn't like picking which movie you want to watch' (Natalie 9)

Kids say the darndest things, but we could learn from them :)


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Not In The Real World

Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy breaks girls heart, boy runs to the airport to fix it, girl accepts boys apology, boy and girl get married and........... the credits start rolling. Sound familiar? Well of course it does, this is what the majority of the movies that we watch are: unrealistic!

An uptight workaholic nightmare meets a hot hunky mess who allows her to finally let loose on life (The Ugly Truth), A woman unlucky with all things romance finds someone who can appreciate her for who she is (Just Wright), A couple thrown together in some wacky roller coaster of events hate each other but then eventually realise that, that hate is actually love (Life As We Know It), Boy and girl pretend to be together for whatever reasons (usually to make someone else jealous) and then discover that they actually love each other (Nick and Norah's Infinite Play List) and to top it off in all these movies it is guaranteed that there will be endless rounds of dramatic break up scenes, a chase scene and then a dramatic make up scene.

But how unfortunate for us that life is not a romantic comedy, we do not find the perfect person by bumping into them in the school hall, or by leaving your glass slipper at the foot of the stairs..... If only it were that easy. What these movies do (as much as I love them) is give people unrealistic and potentially unhealthy expectations about real life relationships.

problem number #uno- Perfect relationships.

Okay, as much as it pains me to say, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. We always like to kid ourselves thinking that we may or may not have the perfect relationship, but forget to remember that the word "perfect" means flawless, and as humans we are majorly flawed, there is no escaping that one... thank you Adam and Eve. Perfect relationships do not exist because perfect people do not exist, let's just stick to loving the imperfect person perfectly.

problem number #deux- Lazy does it.

Not only do movies like Maid in Manhattan make people think that perfect relationships exist but they make us think that they happen magically, like we can just wave our magic wand and abra cadabra there is this boy standing in front of us, asking us to love him. Uhm, no. The reality is, we need to actually work at our relationships. Often I find myself saying relationships are the hardest thing that I have had to do, and its true.. no work no pay. The richest most beautiful rewarding relationships are those that took time, those that have both parties have worked to create.

Problem number #tres- Happily ever after

I blame Disney for this one, we got people like Snow white and Cinderella living happily ever after right now. Sure happily ever after does exist, you can meet the one you love, get married have kids, and boom happily ever after, but this is not always the case, or rather hardly the case. People break up.... all the time. These movies however make us feel like once we meet the one we love, that's it, we must and we will live happily ever after. With this mind set we are just setting ourselves up for endless drama and disappointment. Forever does not exist, its more till the day I die kinda stuff. That is why when you are getting married they do not say "do you [insert name here] promise to love and honor this person forever" they say "til death do you part" because they are clever they know not to give us false hope like forever and happily ever after. We would really like to believe that when you fall in love its for real and nothing will change that, but this is the real world we live in, not behind a TV screen, things happen all the time, things out of our control that could leave you single for the fifth time. Movies present a laugh-through-hardship type of love, if only. Let's make happily ever after, one day at a time.

Instead of second guessing your relationships because you have just watched 27 Dresses, rather accept your partner as they are, not the person you want them to be or should be. You may want him to give Robert Pattinson a run for his money and own a million dollar company but he is happier just being your boyfriend and working as a marketing director. Also, BE HAPPY, happiness is a choice, and instead of worrying about other peoples happiness take control of your own and don't base it on your partner. They should be one of the reasons you are happy not the reason you are happy.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Royal Engagement

"Prince William engagement ring" is the 67th most popular Google search in the past hour! *jaw drops* you would think that finally hearing about the long awaited engagement would put a burn in the search engines like the internet is about to shut down... but no, in the number one spot we have Sky Nellor, (who by the way has THE coolest website I have ever seen! Check it out so instead of googling "why Prince William did not marry me" people are searching for former model now turned club DJ Sky Nellor. And no wonder, have you seen her!

I think I may have just added to the reason she is number one, but any way moving on, I still don't get why this royal engagement isn't as popular... are people that sad about it? Have they decided they want nothing to do with it? I bet they living on the mantra if you can not see it it does not exist... Nice one.

It's funny because the next popular search that has something remotely close to the engagement is at number 11 with..... wait for it...... How tall is Kate Middleton? WHAT!!! I swear I read that many times just to make sure I was not seeing things, but no, there it is in black and white, actually blue, at the number 11 spot... how tall is Kate Middleton.

It's as if people are not that interested, like:-
Person A: oh hey would you like at that, Prince William got engaged to that Kate, speaking of do you know how tall she is....?
Person B: Idk, good question. Let's Google it!
Person A: Great idea, right after I Google Sky Nellor.

heeelllllooooooo Prince FRIGGIN' William just got engaged... You know what, I'm going to talk about it.

I actually preferred the time when it was just the will they, won't they speculations, at least then I still held on to my dream of becoming a princess so friggin' bad, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen, but now every time I close my eyes I will see this

(Diana's engagement ring) and know that now the likelihood of marrying a Prince is 0 to none. Thank you very much for that William.

So to summarise, Prince William got engaged, no body cared, and we all lived happily ever after (without the prince)


Friday, November 12, 2010

Where have all the "ugly" women gone

I came across an article in Glamour magazine that I have not been able to stop thinking about, while I may have forgotten the exact title, I do remember that it went along the lines of "where have all the ugly women gone"...... Okay, maybe this is just me, but have you ever sat with a magazine in front of you, you are ready to read it and as you start all you see are just words in front of you, and in that moment that's all they are, words, because as you stare and flip through that magazine your mind is a million worlds away... well that was me then, but that changed when I came across that article. I was like wait what? Crazy talking Glamour magazine say what?

This article was written by a woman but from a mans perspective, basically he was saying that make up and plastic surgery and all things fashion have completely removed the idea of what woman should look like. As woman we all want to be perfect, we all want to be a size zero (which is not even a size), have a face like Halle Berry, a body like Ciara, teeth like Cameron Diaz, lips like Angelina Jolie and a butt like Jessica Alba. We try rid ourselves of imperfections forgetting that our insecurities and our imperfections make us us. We do the best to hide the scar on our hand, the pimple on our nose, the gap between our teeth, the stretch marks on our butt and we think that these things make us ugly, hence where have all the "ugly" women gone.

If you pick up any magazine from the shelves today you are bound to find gorgeous looking women on the cover who have one thing in common, they all look skinny and sexy. But do women really want to look like that? the answer is yes, and my question is why? there is nothing wrong in looking sexy but there is everything wrong in changing yourself to do that. We like buying the latest skin care products, hair products, fashion items, and make up and comparing ourselves to the model in magazines, but where is the reality in between all that glamour. Which is where the unknown guy in the article I read comes in, do women really know what guys want?

This "what do men/women want?" question has been asked decades ago, is still being asked now and will be asked for decades to come, there just isn't a clear cut answer. So many have tried and today I'm going to try... well as far as physical beauty goes. So buckle up, here goes:

Some may say there is a thin line between reality and fantasy but I say there is a huge difference. When I think about it, men may stare at a woman with triple D size cups, and they may fantasize about being with a super model, but that is as far as it goes. It is all just superficial and does not carry any substance. Personality, confidence, character, now that's substance. I think men want "real' women, and to me a "real" women has faults and imperfections.
There was some random poll that was taken about whether men like a superficial looking woman or a natural looking one, and out of the 1000 men that were asked, 6% of them said they would rather their women have botox than wrinkles, 69% of them said breast implants are not sexy and 50% of them said women should just ditch lipstick altogether.
Men like the wholesome, natural looking woman, not a woman that looks like she has just been unwrapped from a cardboard box written six to twelve years old with a price tag on it.

We should all (men and women) be able to show off our God given assets and not want to change them, after all no joys are comparable by being your own true self. Sexy is being able to just be yourself, we are already so beautiful, all it takes is loving oursleves wholly and completely and once we do that we will be loved by many.

"You're exceptional the way you are
don't need to change for no body
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional" - Jojo


Thursday, November 4, 2010

"see friendship"

My title may resemble something so silly Facebook has done, speaking of which, what gives? See wall-to-wall was crazy enough, now we must see friendship? I swear Facebook may be trying to kick us grown folk out of there, either that or they are seriously trying to breed some serious stalkers. Either way you look at it, its dumb. The only friendship I'm trying to see is real friendship, which brings me to......

I remember growing up with a sweet poem about friendships, something about "there are many types of ships. yellow ships, blue ships, red ships, but the best and most important ships are friendships" *warning- I may have tempered slightly with that poem, it may have been something about the only ships that don't sink are friendships but my point still remains the same* a statement that should be so true in reality is not.

They say that friends next to family are people that remain in your life forever, and only boys/girls come and go... how wrong are we, everyone comes and goes, people always leave (except family, they are stuck with you, shame.)

How many of us sat next to someone in preschool and thought "this is my friend forever", look around you where are they now? those of you who still have them, kudos to you, but most of us have almost little to no memories of preschool except those embarrassing ones told to us by our parents. Friends are the family we choose, but most of us make mistakes of expecting too much, not expecting anything at all and not treating friendships as they should be.

Life is a balance, up down, good bad, right wrong, happy sad, and it is unrealistic to think that people should be perfect all the time. We all have our faults and just because they are different from someone else does not make you any better. sounds like common sense? well it should be, but apparently is not. I would think as you grow older the more sound, long lasting friendships people make, but what I see around me is the opposite, I see many friendships dying over petty issues. Ever heard the saying money does not grow on trees, well neither do friendships. Expecting things from people is natural to us human beings, its like the "on" button is activated once we become close to someone, we would not expect anything from the stranger next door but we would expect the world from our best friend, and I guess that's because we THINK we can give them the world but show me someone who has the world and I will stop writing now............. thought so.

Sometimes peoples expectations come in a box labeled impossible, and honestly they are asking for disappointment. Most people with high expectations always land up disappointed. Then they say, "I'm going to stop expecting things from people because they always disappoint me" ........ well that probably gets them as far as their next disappointment because lets face it, 1) that "on" button is already activated and 2) that's dumb. All it is, is be normal, take into consideration that you too are human and make mistakes. Take me down from that pedestal, remove that halo from my head, because I would rather stand side by side than sit at the top and disappoint you without even knowing.

There are also those people that claim to be your friend and the second your back is turned a knife is jammed right through it, well.... we are not talking about those people because they are not friends. We may not be born with a bull-shit-O-meter (although some seem to have purchase them somewhere) but I think sometimes you can tell when someone is about to pull a fast one on you, they talk about their own friends to you, they have flip flop personalities and if someone like that stabs you in the back, I'm sorry but why was your back turned?

It may sound like a cliche but people honestly have to take the bad with the good, we all have issues, its called life. Those who don't have issues are clones. We cannot be all things to all people, but we can definitely be a friend. Do not just drop friends because he/she does not agree with you, says things you may not agree with, or does things differently from you. As long as this person is not being nasty or harming you in any way then let them be, its called individuality for a reason.

The way people drop friends like bad habits is kinda scary, there are many people in the world that we can easily make new friends with and that's nice but to me its not really how many friends we have had that matters, its how many long term friendships you have maintained. Yes, way may not be friends with the person we played hide and seek with in preschool but we have real friendships now, real friendships that we could work on. I read somewhere that friends are not entitlements, they are gifts from God. With that said, I'm not trying to throw away my gifts, they are mine!

Its really true when they say be the change you want to see in the world, and be the person you want to have in your life, being around when times are good is easy but being around when times are tough is amazing. The same way good times may fade, the bad times go just as quickly, nothing last forever except obviously friendships, if you let them.
"Its far better to have had a dozen true friends than thousands of relationships that came and went"

hello friend



Monday, November 1, 2010

Crazy 101

Just when you think the world can't get any crazier... *enters Nicki Minaj*...... Most of us are still trying to wrap our heads around Lady Gaga and her unworldly style, but now every time we turn on our TVs we have to deal with Nicki Minaj saying things that we barely understand. Not for lack of not making sense (although that can be up for debate) but because her raps are just out of this world.

*side-note* not that I am complaining. In the beginning I may have been like uhmmmmm question mark, question mark, question mark, but now I have nothing but love for that girl.

But as far as crazy is concerned, her and Lady Gaga are on the fast track to prove who can be the craziest, and although Gaga is winning by a million and six votes Minaj is not out of the race. In an interview with OUT magazine she said herself "I wanna be innovative, I wanna stand out too."

If Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj have taught us anything, it's that crazy is in fashion, if you (especially in the music biz) are still wearing jeans and a T-shirt or are singing songs where no one dies in a video, you are sooo normal 2000 and eight.

Crazy 101

1. Wear crazy outfits

So we know that Gaga has established herself as Queen of crazy town, mostly because of her crazy outfits, from the bubble suit, to the robot outfit to (do I even need to mention) the meat dress, we have no idea what Gaga will think up next to have us saying "oh my gosh", but what ever it is we are sure to look like this:

However as I said before Nicki Minaj is quicky sneaking up on Lady Gaga's throne.

Need I say more? I think not.

2. Have an alter ego

The thing with crazy people is this, they do and say crazy things and get away with it beacuse they have an alter ego to blame it on, like "I'm actually really shy, sweet and innocent but when [insert name] takes over it's a whole different ball game"
Nicki Minaj has "Roman", a boy, who comes out when she is wearing her pink, purple, green barbie hair, and Lady Gag Gag Gaga, also has a boy "Jo Calderone", who comes out....... all the time.

3. Have weird facial expressions

No matter what Gaga is dressed up as, who she is with, where she is, she always seems to have a different facial expression.
Nicki Minaj is also known for her crazy eye movement and weird facial expressions, nothing says "hi my name is crazy" more than:


At the end of the day why we love Gaga and Nicki may not only be because they are different but also because without denying it they are both successful music artists, they are good at what they do love what they do and we love them for it. So I applaud them.... for making different cool.