Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Letter to the sun

We all remember the Wayans brothers 'White Chicks', and how they gave new meaning to writing letters.

" Kevin Copeland: I'm gonna have a BF!

Marcus Copeland: oh, my God, shes gonna have a bitch fit!
Hotel Clerk: No, don't d-d-d-don't have a BF now"
Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet,
I'm gonna write a letter!
Marcus Copeland: You are in big trouble.
Kevin Copeland: Dear Mister Royal Hampton, I am a white woman,
in America. "

Okay, so I am not a white woman in America, but I am a black chick in the sun! And the sun is in BIG TROUBLE!

Dear Sun

I'm sorry, but have we pissed you off? are you seriously trying to kill us?
To be honest I was sad to see you go, and missed you while you were away. I even rejoiced at the news of your return, but now I think you are playing games with us.
As soon as I step out into your burning rays of light, ALL my energy vanishes, and that's not fair!! You make people think I am lazy!
If I am not sleeping, I want to be sleeping, and if I don't feel like sleeping, I am still thinking about sleeping.
Let's get one thing straight, I actually want to pay attention in class okay?

We get it, you are hot. Right now not even Denzel Washington is hotter than you, but please don't make me wish winter would come back.
The two of you have NO idea what moderation is, NO idea.
If you are trying to get us to pay more attention to the seriousness of global warming, mission almost accomplished.
You are the second most talked about thing, after the VMAs, and at this point I would rather watch paint dry than talk about how deathly you are.
You are good for some things, we know, like days at the beach, ice-cream, growing plants and things,but you are not good for my skin right now!
I don't need a tan sunburn, neither do I need cancer.
So I ask, would it hurt to turn down the heat a little? Would it hurt to be kind to us?
Let my people go dammit! Give us us free!
If you are serious about life, you will do something about that radiation.

Love me- No seriously, you have to love me.


Monday, September 13, 2010

The best kind of silence

The more time I spend in silence the more I grow to appreciate it, I say this at the risk of sounding like a loner, but I do not necessarily mean sitting alone listening to the sound of you inhale and exhale, neither do I mean the kind of you-pissed-me-off-and-now-I-will-not-talk-to-you silence, I mean more comfortable silences, like those shared with the ones you love.

I can be the first to admit that silence is AwKWarD, there is that kind of silence where you feel you have to say something to the person you are with before you self combust but the only problem is you have no clue from heaven what to say and if you should say it at all.
*insert cricket noise*
It's never funny in real life.... rephrase: its never funny when it happens to you, but when watching cartoons and the awkward silence is filled with the cricket noise, it's FUNNY!
But out here in the world outside Courage the cowardly Dog and Dexter's Laboratory, awkward silence is usually followed by an awkward statement, that is followed by more awkward silence and before you know it, it becomes your sole mission to avoid that person at all costs, like "oooh there they come, and here I go".

On the flip side, silence can be our friend, it reminds me of a saying "speech is silver, silence is golden"
There is nothing more special than being able to let the silence between you and your friend, boy/girlfriend, sister, brother, mother, husband/wife (we get the point) manifest between you and not feel an ounce of difference. You can sit there in absolute silence and not feel uncomfortable, obliged or like you straight want to run for the door screaming help.
I've had a lot of those lately, and I am so grateful for it, because the more I can enjoy comfortable silences the more I feel I am building a family, a family that finds meaning in my silence as much as they do in my words.
The best kind of silence is when nobody even notices there is a silence.

Enough of my words, lets use somebody else's.

Sometimes Silence is the Loudest Kind of noise
Bassey Ikpi

Sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise
Like sometimes it was best when
Girls were girls and boys were boys.
Like back when freeze tag was a mating dance.

Like back when "Do Over" meant you got another chance.

Like back when anxiety was worrying if Wonder Woman would make it out alive.

Like back when freedom was sliding backwards on a slide.

Like back when success was jumping off a swing and

Landing on your feet, then

Doing it all over again.

Like new shoes made you run faster.

Like getting Ms. Gross again for math was a disaster.

failure was a word we hadn't even learned to spell yet.
promises were sealed and kept with pinky bets.
Like a challenge was a double dare.

Like ugly was a cock-eyed stare.

And you liked it...

Like when you flipped your eyelids inside out

To impress that boy across the room,
'Cause that's all it took.
And there was no such thing as too soon,

As long as you checked the right box in that note from across the room,

The one that he...passed her.

Back when, "I don't know, maybe" was a legitimate answer.

Back when, "I need space" meant he needed more elbow room to draw,

So he got on the floor and he colored outside the lines.

Like the lines of color were on the floor,
So we just existed in sandboxes and playgrounds.
And we hop-scotched and dodgeballed

everything I needed to know, I learned in a shopping mall.
Like don't wander off on your own,

Like know who you are,

Like know where you came from,

Like never let go of your mother's hand no matter what you do,
Like if you get lost, just stand there until someone finds you,
And someone will always look for you

Because someone will always miss you

And someone will always find you

And when you cry, someone will always remind you

In that quiet, quiet lullaby voice,

That sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise.

I almost died when I read this... I hope this cheers up anyone that's reading this.


Friday, September 10, 2010

In music I trust

Today= sucky sucky day, you want to know more about it, you can find it in the shelves next to 'oh my what a day' and 'why did I bother waking up?'

I honestly feel like I have been living this day for more than 30 hours! It's kind of funny how time FLIES when you are having fun, but when you are bored, depressed, or annoyed, time does nothing but stay still.
Lesson learned, time is not thy friend.

Any way, crossing over, there are three things that I tend to do when I am sad, 1) EAT 2) SLEEP and 3) listen to MUSIC. I am currently doing number 1.. Wimpy sweet chili chicken wrap with hot chocolate on the side, but this was after I tried number 2 and it failed, and I have been doing number 3 all day.

There is nothing that can turn everything upside down or the right way up like music can. I could play Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On' and just burst into tears or I could play Ronan Keating's "When You Say Nothing At All" and smile to myself because once upon a time that song meant something to me, or even better I could play Jr's "Show Dem" and want to put my dancing shoes on and make the circle bigger.

Whatever the case, music acts as my friend, when I am depressed it's there to give me sympathy, when I am happy it's there to inspire me, when I am lonely it's there to comfort me and when I have nothing to say it's there to fill in the blanks and put my feelings and emotions into words that I would have probably not have been able to say.

What can I say, for me music gives me the feeling of "Hakuna Matata", *singing* it means no worrieeeeeees for the rest of your dayyyyyys, (yeah say it kid) its a problem freeeeeeeeeee philosophyyyyyyyyyy hakuna matata!

As far as my bad day is concerned I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and ask "what bad day?" but until then in music I trust.


Monday, September 6, 2010

"I'm sorry" Is that hard for you to say?

We all love to talk, so much that some can say anything just to hear the sound of their own voice, but who really blames them its one of the only things we have been very good at since the age of 2! Did you know (because I didn't) that the average words we speak a day are about 16,000 words? *gasp*........ I know, I had the same reaction!

Its funny though, we talk this much but there are still somethings that are just so damn hard to say, and I think to myself why is that??
Its almost as if we were all wired in a certain way, that something in our body just does not function when its time to say things like 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry' or 'I need help'.
What is that about? Adam and Eve...........that's got to be the answer! whenever something goes wrong blame Adam and Eve.

I think 'I'm sorry' has got to be the hardest, I mean there are even songs about this. Most of us like receiving a heartfelt apology, we sit there like ' yeah you better be sorry' but if that is the case why are we not able to return the favour. It's no secret that we are human beings and as human beings we make mistakes (Adam and Eve) so why not just apologise, move on and live happily ever after?

Two things! One: It's not fun to admit you are wrong, it's like a shift in the balance of power, (where those words came from I don't know) but it's like once you admit you are wrong you suddenly feel this small! You suddenly feel humiliated, vulnerable, and that's just not fun, trust me, I know. It's hard feeling like you are taking out a part of yourself and saying "here do what you want with it"
which brings us to two: the fear of rejection. Saying sorry is one thing, but having to feel like your apology wont be accepted, or you will be blown off makes saying sorry ten times harder.

Fighting with my friends and family sucks eggs, and I have a lot to learn as far as apologies are concerned, but I'm thinking what does not kill you only makes you stronger, so saying sorry is NOT a sign of weakness but more a sign of strength because it only takes those who are courageous to stand up and own up to their mistakes.

"Making things right is more important than being right" - Dr Robi Ludwig

"I'm sorry" Is that hard for you to say?


Friday, September 3, 2010

Things to do with spring

The weather and I have a complicated relationship, when its hot I want it to be cold, and when its cold, I want it to be hot ...... basically if this was facebook, my relationship status would read "in a relationship with the weather but its complicated"

For now I'm just glad I can throw away (not literally) my blankets and jackets and not have to feel cold anymore, or use up my electricity with my electric blanket, or keep stocking up my cupboard with med lemon and cough syrup, or *cough cough* spend hours in front of my wardrobe figuring out what to wear because not only do I have to look nice but I have to keep warm at the same time, and maybe this is just me but that is SO hard to pull off..... #imjustsaying.

The list goes on but anyhoo, crossing over
In the spirit of Spring, I've decided to do a little "words related to spring" section, kind of like a spring word map sort of thing, just for the heck of it.

Birth, life, growth, green, bloom, warmth, fruitful, flower, sunshine, happiness, birds, light, laughter, singing, outdoors, September, celebrate, new, youth, breeze, rain, seasons, animals, weekends, rainbows, sounds, hope, music, pictures, clothes, garden, sports, sandals, beach, dance, water, earth, parties, lazy, bounce, fashion, bikinis, theater, bubbly, fling, alcohol, sweet, dreams, chances, smiles

It definitely is springtime *does happy dance*

Happy spring everybody....