Sunday, February 6, 2011

Somebody almost walked away with all of my stuff

I've watched the movie 'For Coloured Girls' about six times already, that's how much I love it. I could watch it again and again and not run out of emotions to use. I've always said, this is one movie where ALL your emotions are at risk. You get hurt, angry, upset, confused, judgemental, happy, relieved and some more. So if you're really looking to take your emotions to the gym, watch the movie.

With all the lessons that it teaches, there is one sentence that keeps playing in my mind:

"somebody almost walked away with all of my stuff."

At first I had no idea what stuff this woman was referring to, all I know is, she was far from impressed and I remember sitting there thinking wow, this woman really likes her things.
Then it hit me, her 'things' were not physical or materialistic, her 'things' were her memories, dignity, hopes, dreams, happiness, and her love, and this man was walking away with them.

No wonder she was pissed.

A lot of us have been there. Where someone almost walked away with all our stuff. Where we gave everything we had and didn't have, and people just waved their hands, said adios, and walked away with our stuff.
As people we give much of ourselves to the person we are with, and nine times out of ten they are not worthy of such a gift. They seem content in receiving all we have to offer until they decide they don't want it anymore. And where does that leave us?
Well, if you were thinking, duped, cheated, and all alone then exactly to that.

This has happened to me, and left me with a condition called 'brick wall' (its real, look it up.) Details unnecessary, but I can say that it was not a good look. Being left feeling duped, cheated and all alone doesn't breed any room for positivity, all you are is now a negative person, that doesn't trust anyone, that's sceptical about everything and that feels like there is no one out there for them. Thankfully I crawled out of there fast (not fast enough) but fast nevertheless. *smiles just thinking about it*

People tend to build brick walls around themselves and their hearts once they've been hurt. They become afraid to let anyone in and most importantly afraid to give away an once of their stuff. Who can blame them? Being in a relationship, is sharing love, time, space and a whole lot more of yourself, if one person is not doing the same there is bound to be someone walking away with stuff that does not belong to them.

You can give and give but you cannot give up all of your stuff. That's not to say you should always hold yourself back from the experience of love, personally I am happy to pamper, spoil, nurture, adore and support the one I love but they have to be worthy of receiving that. I'm not just going to give my stuff all willy nilly. Sorry wrong number I won't.
Giving until it hurts in a relationship is a red flag.
You can't share yourself with someone to the point where when you are faced with them leaving, you find yourself with a lot less than you did when you started the relationship.

Be wise about who you give your stuff to and how and when you distribute it.

As the poem said.. You "needs" your things, you need your heart to love again, you need your mind to understand and you need your entire self to be strong enough to walk away and start again.



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