Wednesday, May 25, 2011

When Pictures Say It Best

Sometimes I feel like emotions are the hardest things to explain. True, everybody goes through roughly the same things in a lifetime but emotions are tricky, only you can really feel them no matter how many times someone says "I know what you mean" or "I've been there before."

Maybe it's me, but I have a hard time telling people how I feel, my words don't come close, all I can really do is feel them.
So I often feel like when someone asks you, how are you feeling? They will never really get it, no matter how many languages you use to try and explain it, they can sympathize but that's as far as it's likely to go. {I think.}

But that doesn't stop me. I always like getting what I feel out.
Better out than in right?

Here is my attempt at explaining how I feel today.

Not knowing what comes next is really scary.
I graduate soon, and I'm back to feeling uncertain about so many things.
Relationships, what I want to do, where I want to do it.
And while I'm being honest, I am happy. I am happy that this one stepping stone of my life is almost over but what comes next?
I guess I'm just afraid of the unknown. But what I do lean on is knowing that I have the rest of my life ahead of me.

I feel like I'm running on zero energy.
The last few weeks have been really stressful for me. With all these tests and assignments and I'm not even halfway through.
I'm glad my semester is almost over because maybe then I can just slow down to take a breather but then soon after that I have exams.
So really, all it is, is I'm screwed. At least for the next month.
Hand me a red bull.

The long visit with the boy is almost over.
He leaves tomorrow.
It's so strange how much I already miss him and he hasn't left yet.
Being with him really makes me happy.
And over the past month I have been nothing but happy.
And now he leaves.

I'm confused.
There is this job opportunity that I may have but everything is pointing in the opposite direction.
Should I go for what I want, or what other people think is best for me?
It's so bad that I haven't even sent in my CV yet when I got an email almost two weeks ago asking me to send it.
I have a friend that keeps telling me to just DO IT.
but something keeps holding me back.
I know what I want. I do. I'm just not sure if everybody will support me in it?
Am I crazy?

How do you deal with your emotions? bottle them up? tell anyone who cares to listen?

Happy Wednesday Friends!



  1. Hi Lu3lu! Found you through 20sb. It's a very nice post. I think I've been there a lot of times too when I was about to get out of college. Like seriously, what's next? And trust me, it isn't the hardest part yet. Getting out of college is literally getting out of your comfort zone, what you think you're good at, you'll have to think twice again. No, you're not crazy, everybody's been through that or are going through it now like you do. I studied media and communication arts too. I think you're really talented. Just take your time, take it easy and don't forget to stick to what will make you happy. Life is a constant work in progress and I'm sure you'll do well. I'll definitely be watching out for more of your posts. :)


  2. Hi Marriane.
    Thank you SO much for your sweet comment. I really can relate to so much you said. Being in school has been a comfort zone for me and getting out is a bit scary.
    Thank you again for your kind words, I really appreciate it.

  3. My emotions: I bottle them up and put on a front to make people think I am OK -- and also convince myself I'm OK but that's what "works for me" until I learn to deal.

    But I think you should go with your instincts on this one. You are not an unreasonable person so I am sure whatever you decide FOR YOU will really and truly be the best.


  4. p.s. I just had my last ever uni exam!! Also studying International Studies (at Goldsmiths) Its a really weird transitory time,not sure what your doing or where your headed...

  5. LuLu,

    Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming... :)

    Thinking of you!

  6. FFA- Thank you! :) It's safe to say that I have taken one positive step in that direction.

    Sy- Thanks! It sure is weird, and it's even worse when people ask 'so what are you doing next?' you really don't know how to answer that.

    Sar- (",) you made me smile. Thank you so much!


Thank you for stopping by & leaving a comment